I was watching the film Wimbledon last night, and that can only mean one thing: Le French Open est ici. Sadly it also means that I’ve watched two Kristen Dunst flicks in less than a week. But as baffling and regrettable as this might sound, I haven't found her that intolerable. And listen to this: the other flick wasn't Jumanji! It was a 1998 feminist film called All I Wanna Do, in which she plays an incorrigible little sparkplug that helps galvanize the student body of a girl’s finishing school against the “little white gloves” way of life that Mona Lisa Smile used to love shoving up people's asses. But if you're like my twisted friend Gritz and wear a tinted monocle over your anus, maybe this is a scenario where Mona Lisa wouldn't be smiling. Maybe she'd be deucing sun rays.
Regardless, it's a funny film, and it's moving and it made me want to go back in time to fight for women's rights. I tried to do that retroactively in this Gender Studies class I took at Harvard about Women in the sixties, but instead I wrote a one act play about a homosexual soldier who has to explain his newfound sexuality to his wife. It was an ambitious undertaking, no doubt, since I wrote the thing under the constraints of the Hays code, and my performance of it at the Dunkin Donuts on Bow Street in Cambridge was somewhat moving, but it didn’t mean anything. No one’s life was improved.
Plus this is about tennis.
Earlier this morning I was thinking, “The fuck’s Mario Ancic up to right now?” Well, he's in the French Open and he’s playing Federer in the next round! Even though Baby Goran's a great player, I hope he doesn't spoil one of Roger’s last chances at the French. Ancic will have his moment and I predict it will be at the Australian Open, where he will dedicate his performance to Rod Laver and win his first grand slam.
Lastly, Novak Djokovich has a remarkably easy draw. It looks like he’s gonna be able to laugh his ways to the semis...
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2 comments:
Chapeau! A simply outstanding post. Cheddar Ted's familiarity with the nicknames of non-top-10 tennis players, his understanding of the history of tennis, and the obvious extent to which he is completely tuned in to and in touch with the psyche of the Federer Fan, are all equally impressive. Cheddar, may this not be your last post on Roland Garros. And, yes, the Djoker always seems to get comfortable draws...
if said play was about the American Revolution, the title could have been PINKCOAT... and Kirsten Dunst would have gladly cast herself in the role of "Intolerant Alcoholic Sister".
also, I envy the amount of memories in your life that are wedded to the great American establishment of Dunkin Donuts. What I would not do for an ICED TURBO RIGHT THIS MOMENT.
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