After the tournament, I was on cloud nine. My pockets were overflowing, I was on a spiritual high from Shabbat 1000, and I was kind of faced from drinking cider while watching girls we are friends with engage in a bidding war over our good buddy Derver in a date auction. As I wondered how much I would go for, I thought to myself "Cheddar, this is what life's all about, and you'd probably go for 33 dollars. Or 1089 if you were being auctioned of in conjunction with Gritz."
When I thought it couldn't get any better, I heard a very loud "ding" in my head (like the sound of a triangle or the ring of a cellular phone). I opened the microwave and there was a sizzling plate of Mature Cheddar ready to partake in weekend festivities. Bon Appetit!
So after administering a few shots to various people's faces, giving this dude a huge rugburn on his forehead, and biting my arm for an extended period of time while I crowd-surfed over a piano surrounded by dudes singing songs from Joseph and The Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, this kid fell down a flight of stairs and cracked his head open. But at least I don't have rabies.
And if the weekend weren't good enough, last night I freestyle rapped with Matisyahu, the Hassidic Reggae Star famous for his hit track, "King Without a Crown."
I was at the Chabad House having dinner and he stopped in before his show at Avalon and sat right next to me. Everyone was asking him questions like, "how do you balance your religious beliefs and the realities of being a Pop Star?" His answers were thoughtful and interesting.
Suddenly, I turned to him and I asked him mad earnestly, "You think there's room in the game for a less religious Jewish Rapper."
"Why?" Said Matisyahu.
"I'm not sure if you know this, but I'm a mad good rapper."
Then he kicked a beatbox and I choked harder than B. Rabbit in the first scene of 8 Mile.
Matisyahu looked at me, shook his head and said, "Sorry, Cheddar Ted, but I think you just answered your own question."
"Matisyahu. My forte is rhyming a bit more inappropriately, but you like that flow, don't you?"
He looked at me like "Cheddarrrr!"
"We're in a house of God, M."
We shared a laugh and he told me to keep at it. Then we prayed together. He left the Chabad House and put on a sick show.
7 comments:
I didn't know Mature was in the house this weekend! Tell him I said hello. I hope it was a gouda time.
what a true blue blog entry
i have been checking back many times a day and i began to get worried that you were gettin employed for real and no more blogging. finally all of my refreshes paid off and i got to read this fabulous entry. sadly i enjoyed it sitting in the science center library, a real d bag of a library, but to make up for my local i was eating a slice of pizza and a Steez knock off soda called nectar fizz (mad tasty). real lost comment.. i know, im out now.
Into the side netting! Roberto-berto Baggio!
I thought all rappers were Jews...
my jaw litterly dropped!! i think i like you so much cause you all sound like nick hornby
What, no shout out to the Princes on their birthday? Pretty harsh, CT.
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